A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

Okay I got this in an email - and thought it was Fun-ny! So I did some slight editing and decided to post it. I hope you enjoy!

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and adazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit- ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

TUESDAY:I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it allworthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stairmonster. Why in the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too.

THURSDAY:Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom she sent some skinny girl in to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY:I hate that Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year mydaughter (the little pain in the butt) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bendover, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

She's got it down "Pat!"

Well ladies and gentlemen Pat Summitt - women's head basketball coach at the University of Tennessee accomplished an amazing goal. She won her 1,000 game on Feb. 5th, 2009!
She is the first coach in Division 1 basketball to reach this number of wins. I am now going to give you some facts about Pat Summitt and her career thus far! I am only doing this because some of these facts are amazing even for those of you who really are not fact people or who are not that into sports (DJ!!), then when I am done I will tell you a story that happened to me involving a chance to meet this amazing lady on the day after her big win!!

From her first victory on Jan. 10, 1974, to win No. 1,000 on Feb. 5, 2009, 12,445 days passed.
A look at how long it took Summitt to reach each plateau:
Wins Length1-100 4 years, 4 days
100-200 3 years, 324 days
200-300 4 years, 32 days
300-400 3 years, 21 days
400-500 3 years, 300 days
500-600 3 years, 2 days
600-700 3 years, 12 days
700-800 3 years, 39 days
800-900 3 years, 5 days
900-1,000 3 years, 17 days
THAT’S SOME WINNING BASKETBALL

• Through her first 34 seasons, Summitt averaged 28.9 victories and just 5.4 losses per season.
• Summitt has been fond of saying, “Surround yourself with great people.” During her 35-year coaching tenure at the University of Tennessee she has worked with 153 Lady Vol basketball student-athletes and been assisted throughout the years by a total of 39 coaching staffers (assistant coaches, graduate assistants and operations directors), 53 student managers, 3 head athletic trainers, 2 women’s athletics directors, 1 media relations director and 1 secretary.
• Over 35 years, Summitt has brought 153 women into the program (including this year’s team). Of that total group, 111 have graduated (including current starting post Alex Fuller), two discontinued playing due to medical reasons (knees), 23 transferred, and six quit.
• Over 47 percent of ALL games coached by Summitt have come against Associated Press ranked opponents with the Lady Vols producing a 400-155 record and a 72 percent winning percentage. Imagine facing a ranked opponent in practically every other game in your career. Summitt has faced this challenge for 35 years, night-in and night-out. Summitt’s teams have also emerged victorious over unranked teams as well, winning 600 games (including tonight’s victory over Georgia) and losing just 32 contests. That’s 95 percent winning record over unranked opponents.
• Never had a losing season
• 32 consecutive seasons with at least 20 wins
• 18 seasons with more than 30 wins
• Head Coach Pat Summitt’s career record now stands at 1,000-187 (.843) all time.
• She has had more WNBA and Olympic players than any other program
• She has coached 153 women (including this years team) and 53 of them have national championship rings - some have more than 1!!

There are many more stats out there but I figured you have had enough.

Anyways a few years ago I met this guy named Peanut and he is a big wig for AAU basketball in Tennessee. Well long story short - he has season tickets, Pat Summitts phone number, eats meals with her, and has amazing hook ups when it comes to women's basketball. He got Yoh and I tickets to a game a few years ago - AMAZING experience!! Well I called him the night after the BIG win to have him give me the play by play because I know that he was at the game! And he did of course. Then He tells me that he will send me a t-shirt of the 1,000 wins - sweet I love t-shirts! Then he said that I needed to come back down to Tennessee, I told him that I would try really hard to get down there next winter break. Then he tells me this: "If you can get down here and you give me at least a month's notice on when you will be here I can take you to watch Pat in action - running a practice, yep that is right I can be in the gym while the practice. Then depending on her schedule I might get to meet her!!" I think it would be awesome - but if she is busy then it is okay but maybe I could shoot a couple hoops on HER court!! :) Then he said if they had a game when I came down he would take me again! Sweetness! Then he said if the final four is Nashville next year 2010 - that he can get me tickets and that they would be GOOD tickets - I just to have to say yes I want some and I have to get there!! NOW that would be an amazing experience for me, honestly if any one of those things really happen it would be so cool! I cant even explain it to you!

THE CLEANSE

Alright so the cleanse is done/over! This is a 21 day process of detoxing your body and working your way to eating healthier. You know eating foods that really are not that tasty but are the ones that G-d created us to eat! Through the whole process I lost almost 9 pounds which is always a little motivation boost. My body doesn't feel as tired, my skin is healthier and over all I just feel better (minus the minor sinus infection that I have). I must say that I didn't cheat until today but that was under special circumstances - I had a coca cola classic today at work because I felt dizzy for several hours so I thought I would try a coca cola classic to see if that would help, that was my first coke for a month (which is really hard for me to do). It honestly didn't taste as great as I had hoped, but it did help for awhile.
During the cleanse I basically ate foods that are healthy for me and I watch my portion control and also take supplements throughout the day! So maybe if you are thinking about changing what you eat or being healthier you could follow a few basic steps:

Basic Rules On How To Eat
Rule 1- You MUST eat a healthy breakfast consisting mainly of good quality protein.
Too often breakfast consists of a cereal with milk, breads, coffee, and juices. These
foods strain the blood sugar handling system and set a person up for fatigue later in the
day.
Rule 2- Eat 5 to 6 meals spread through out the day. Eating every 2 to 3 hours helps
regulate the blood sugar handling system of the body giving you more energy. Skipping
meals taxies the blood sugar handling system and sets a person up for fatigue through
out the day.
Rule 3- Eat a balanced 40:30:30 diet with a ratio of 40% protein: 30% fat: 30%
carbohydrate.
Rule 4- Eat real food the God made and intended you to eat. This means fruits,
vegetables, lean meats, nuts, and seeds. Avoid processed, refined, and genetically
modified foods as much as possible. If it came in a box, it probably is not real food.
Rule 5- Eat protein with each main meal even if only in small amounts. This helps
regulate your blood sugar.
Rule 6- Eat low glycemic index foods when consuming carbohydrates. See
www.glycemic.com for more details on individual foods.
Rule 7- Avoid all foods that you know you are allergic to or have food sensitivity to.
Rule 8- Avoid inflammatory foods. These include processed grains, pasteurized cowʼs
milk, soy products, vegetable oils, modified fats and trans fats, refined carbohydrates
(cookies, cakes, candy, soda), and coffee.
Rule 9- Eat as fresh and raw of food as possible. Cooking and micro waving can
destroy foods living nutrients that are needed to heal the body.
Rule 10- Do not eat the same things every day. Rotate your food choices. This helps
avoid developing food sensitivities.
Rule 11- Cook with good quality oils. Oils that should be used include: olive oil, grape
seed oil, and coconut oil. Butter is not good to be fried in, but may be eaten.
Rule 12- Eat organic as much as possible. There is a difference!!!

Well happy eating! If you need some good recipes just check out my fellow blogging friends they have some recipes on their sites